Again I'm shocked at your generosity and kind words people. I don't think I can even express my gratitude properly. For all those that donated, seriously I'm on my knees hugging your legs saying "thank you thank you", you have no idea how much this helps me out, and just how much it means to me.
I'm going to try and get back to some sort of normality and start uploading videos regularly again. I haven't played a video game in 3 weeks now (longest I've ever gone in my life without playing a game.), but hopefully I'll start getting somewhat motivated to do so. Mostly, lately I've been doing transcriptions which has been nice to just keep busy. I've done two in the past 3 weeks so I really hope that becomes a consistent and reliable job. Things ARE looking up and I'm trying my hardest to stay positive and to learn how to just be plain old happy on my own, inner happiness. But It's hard as heck, I'm beaten to a pulp emotionally daily by feelings and thoughts and trying to withstand it is just hard, it eventually beats me down to breaking points where I just fall into the bottomless pit of despair, and night time is when that crap hits the best, I try to get to bed as early as possible anymore.
I've been typing a story since I was like.. geez.. 16 years old? And I would love to one day publish the book, but man I always get stuck and it's hard to motivate myself to type in it, especially right now.
Today I'm going to try and get my car to pass emissions and ask the mechanic what he thinks about driving it to Florida, if he thinks it will even make it or not. If I have no way of driving there then I'll fly and hope for the best, sell my car here and hope that a great priced car becomes available in Florida.
I just can't wait to get all this crap behind me and be able to just be normal, smile laugh all that great crap, but who knows how long it will take and who knows if Florida will even help, it may even make it worse, but I wont know until I try.
Well I got a bit off my chest there, thanks for reading and again thank you from the bottom of my heart for the donations, kind words, advice and love.
Love you guys
before going to sleep i always prayed which was only a few times but i did :D
ReplyDeleteand it would had been very routinely but god did answer and very quickly at that, i am happy for you atm and hope you take care moving to florida
Austin we hope that you find what you're looking for in florida and we also hope that you find happyness there
ReplyDeleteJust remember Your friends can help you through the ups and downs
Good luck in florida and good luck In writing that book
We still all believe in you Austin and we know u can do it and no matter what happens the fans have your back. I hope everything goes well with getting there and settling in. good luck bro!
ReplyDeleteI'm still praying for you bro, I wish a better life comes to you full of happiness, just the way u make us when u upload your videos and when you are happy as well. keep up the amazing videos and good luck on your travels.
ReplyDelete~Your Loving Fans!
We love you too, Austin :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the move, and I hope to see you uploading/streaming soon!
good luck and good life you got my support
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Kilplix, things will most likely look up :D
ReplyDeletegood luck dude
ReplyDeleteThe smallest of donations does more than a prayer, lads and lasses..
ReplyDeleteSome friends and I are saving up, Austin. We'll have a nice chunk for you before you depart for Florida, hopefully. :)
praying for ya man hoping for your sanity to keep together and May fair skies watch over you
ReplyDeleteI hope everything turns out as best as it can for you, you definitely deserve happiness. I dont have much money so I can't donate, but I've been watching your videos like crazy and checking in with your blog. All of your friends and fans are here supporting you 100% of the way :D <3
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon man :( take care of yourself please
ReplyDeleteAustin Remember we care for you bro!
ReplyDeleteHey If it wasn't for you and your awesome vids i wouldn't have the great friends i do to day so i should be thanking you! Good Luck out there in Flordia bro!
I know what you mean about the writing. One particular story I starting coming up with when I was 15...nearly 10 years later and I have yet to really write anything on that particular one. I'm going to be signing up for a creative fiction writing class at school, maybe look into doing the same?
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up and live a REAL live
ReplyDeleteYou're the best :-)
I know I must sound cynical when I say this, but; Although most of your fans are, indeed, bumbling retards (believe me, I've been in the stream chat, I know what the average fan looks like xD), there are many among us who truly support YOU, not just your videos or funny escapades. And even then, the others would STILL hate to see anything bad happen to you, regardless of their reasoning.
ReplyDeleteWe are all here for you in one way or another, man.
My only regret is not being able to donate -- I realize that what you're going through is rough. Maybe there will be some other way, who knows? If that book of yours ever gets on the shelves anywhere, I would gladly buy a copy; hell, even two!
Austin i wish you whit all of my heart and my holy kebab that you will make it
ReplyDeleteIf you end up having to buy a car in Florida, buy new. Used cars often have very dodgy vehicle histories.
ReplyDeleteLove you too Austin !! :) Good luck for you and to your life !
ReplyDeleteGood luck, man! :)
ReplyDeleteHey its [PotC]CaptainJackSparrow again the guy who bought you New Vegas if you don't remember, I know its tough what your going through and I just wanted to say that you can make it through this, we are all here to support you all the way through, as of Friday i have some money coming my way, and once i get it i will try and donate at least 50 bucks to help you with your moving, good luck man, and keep making those videos, funny as heck to watch.
ReplyDeleteAustin I do not understand is that depresses you to be in your room, what problems you have, just in case you have problems with drogars? alcohol? or simply loneliness
ReplyDeletethe truth that scares me to think about it, and I wish the best for you, all your fans want the best, except the troll's (: ahhaha
well, it saves me much support you, I wish you well and can talk to me if you wish, I hope that in florida you fence very well, and everything to be perfect, it saves which would help us with money, but aora I have no money, and as I am underage S:
but saves you spiritual support, good luck and I send all my love, because to discover you in your videos of L4D FUNNY MOMENTS 1, there was great and wanted to play with you simepre a game l4d 2 but not in steam aceptavas me uu
but hey, goodbye, good luck and bye (:
My name is Luis, I'm your fan on youtube, and bye: D
sup kiplix
ReplyDeleteNot sure whats happening to make you depressed Austin, but whatever it is we've all got your backs. I don't have money to donate to you, but I'm sure as hell gonna support you more than ever.
ReplyDelete-fumblef00t