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A few days ago, maybe a week I spent a good hour or more using industrial tape to tape up the roof of my car in hopes of sealing off the sunroof leak, I put on 2 layers, I'd have done more but ran out of tape.

rained a few times, seemed to be working.

Ok so today I call up the auto place and ask about the windshield wipers, he said 3-4 hours maybe to fix it, I'm like wow... wow... so I guess I need to go to the store to buy an umbrella because I'll just have to walk the hour or so walk home while it's getting fixed, then walk the hour or so walk back when he calls to tell me it's fixed.  so on my way there what happens? why the sunroof starts dripping water of course!

after fighting off another breakdown I made the decision that when the weather is decent enough I'm going to just silicon caulk the crap out of that thing, multi layers if I have to, tape over the caulking if I have to, whatever.

So a new dilemma, do I take the car to get the wipers fixed, have the car sit there in the rain and leak more? or try and fix the sunroof, but wait.. it's going to rain, of course I can't seal up the sunroof in this weather.  So I decide just get the wipers fixed.

I get there, the guy makes some calls, they don't have motors for my car in stock because it's old, they have to order them.

so he'll call me when they get the motors in, his estimation price..

now get ready for this

300 dollars

300 dollars to replace windshield wiper motors

Three. Hundred. Dollars.

I know this mechanic is a 100 percent honest man, tells it like it is, his shop has a perfect score on reviews online, every score is 10/10, he's a nice guy, he is really honest, so I believe that if I were to go anywhere else I'd be paying even more.

So I give him my number so he can call me when they get the motors, I don't even know when it'll be.. a few days, weeks?

So I drive home- WOOPS, oh wait, I left my spare key with that guy, drive back, get key, THEN drive home.

get home (lol "home") and spend the next half hour tying a tarp to the car so it doesn't leak anymore, before I'd just shut the tarp in the doors to hold it in place, well it turns out that the water leaked through the seams of the door through the tarp and into the car, onto the seats.

so I had to buy rope, tied the stupid thing to the mirrors and tires, half hour, I have to do this every time I use my car now, untie it all when going places, then tie it all back down when leaving it parked.

Also remember, I have to register my car by the end of the week, 400 dollars.  It's going to rain all week too, how do I drive to the DMV with no wipers?


I told myself that I'd stick with living here for a year, if I wasn't happy then I'd move back home.

In four months it'll be a year, the only highlight I have of living here is standing at the beach by myself.

I don't know if I can last four more months here financially but I highly doubt I'll be wanting to stay here.

Back home me and my dad would just go to a junk yard, pull out the motor from a car, pay 10 bucks and he'd install it, back home I'd re register my car for like 100 dollars.

Back home I'd have people to depend on for rides if I needed to take my car to the repairs instead of walking an hour in the rain.

Simply put, I'm better off back home.

This place has tried eating me alive but I've held my ground and spit back at it's face, gotten through all the trials and problems thrown my way.

But to what end? what result? what do I get for it?  Living here alone in this apartment day by day with zero friends, zero human contact and nothing but emptiness?

I knew I was taking this risk, right here, I knew that this could be a result of moving here, I knew I could end up like this, but I was willing to go for it because there was also a chance of a better life, lots of friends, a feeling of significance and joy.

But that chance had long since passed, I was about 2 years too late.


I'm not saying I'm moving back home or anything but at this rate I just may, and I may be better off both financially and emotionally by doing so.

Time will tell.

You know I wish I could update more positive crap guys.. I really do, like my trip to the beach post, I loved posting that, I was so excited to finally be posting positive stuff, I want to do more of it but gosh dang it whatever is against me just wont leave me alone.


The only thing literally that is keeping me from just going completely insane is streaming games every night, that is my social life and I'm glad I have that and that I have so many people to share it with.

bluh, sorry for the long post, had to rant